The Paradox of Needing and Knowing

I’ve heard that paradox is the language of spirituality and this paradox has been rattling in my brain lately.

Often times in life we feel the need for affirmation, the need to be recognized for who we are and what we are doing in the world by the people in our lives that are most important to us.

And on the other hand, part of us knows we can be comfortable with who we are despite the reflection we get from others.

So which one is it then?

Do we require the affirmation and reflection from others in order to feel secure in who we are?

Or do we build an internal sense of identity by continually going through a process of self-reflection to build our individual identities?

I don't think it's a "this or that" answer...so I think my answer to both questions is "yes".